you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
