god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
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