And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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