Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
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