Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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