It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
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