Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
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