Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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