she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Let's get the cat blown out
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
