Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
