I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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