brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
