I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
