Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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