Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Randomize
