oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Randomize
