It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
