How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Mom said you looked used
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
