My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Semen is not good for contacts.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
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