i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
