He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
