Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Randomize
