I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Randomize
