i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
