You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
