i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
