put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
