whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
