You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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