it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
