I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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