But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
