He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
