Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Operation Purity has been aborted
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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