I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
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