We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
