I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
