I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
