if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
