I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Randomize
