i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Your topless pictures make me question reality
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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