Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
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