I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
