i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
