I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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