Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
We need to rekindle our bromance
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
