My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Randomize
