Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Randomize
