Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Randomize
