worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
