Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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